Tag, I'm it!

Posted by Christine

Well, okay. My turn. Five things about moi....

1. I took a man and a cat and drove across America in a Volkswagen Bug seeking stardom in the Big Apple. The man was my first husband. The cat was named Alice. She was a very strange cat. And after that trip, believe me, stranger still. We settled in Brooklyn to start our climb to the top. It was…a fine life experience. I’ll say that much for it. My big moment in the Big Apple? I starred in The Importance of Being Earnest in a church in Flatbush. I played Gwendolyn and got to say my favorite all-time line from a play. “I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.” Thank you, Oscar Wilde.

2. My maiden name is Smith. Chris Smith. That’s the first real me. My dad’s name? Tom. My mom tells a funny story about checking into a hotel right after they were married under the names Mr. and Mrs. Tom Smith. The clerk looked at them like, Oh right. Sure you are. And then there was my first really cool doll that wasn’t a baby doll. She was a big doll, at least two feet with silky brown hair and gorgeous pink skin and big blue eyes with long lashes. I was about two. My mom said, “A doll like this needs a special, special name.”

And I said. “Ummm…Smith.” So that was my gorgeous doll’s name: Smith. At least through kindergarten, I thought Smith was a truly glamorous name. And I still love it, to tell the truth. It’s one of those names where you’re always going to find other people who have the same name as you. And I like that. I do.

3. I met my husband at a Parents Without Partners discussion group. He had a son and so did I. But I never dreamed we might hook up. I thought he despised me. He was so serious—except when he was funny. Really funny, a wit sharp enough to cut. Deep. He talked about things like personal responsibility and how we can’t change other people, only ourselves and if our marriages didn’t work, blaming the spouse was not going to make our next relationship any better. He would level those ice-blue eyes on me and I would think, okay, well, yeah. I guess I could use a little personal growth. Or maybe a lot. But this a**hole. Him I could just kill. And then, one evening, he called me and…asked me out. We went to dinner and walked down by the Sacramento River. We talked until dawn. Shared our first kiss. I found out how sweet and tender he could be. How he listened. And then there were those really muscular arms and big shoulders…
I knew he was the love of my life that night. I was right.

4. I was once a really good coffee shop waitress. Yes, all right. It’s something of a cliché, the struggling actress spending her lunch hour in duty shoes. That was me. I lived the classic waitress/actress cliché. I worked at the Riss Restaurant (among other fast-paced venues) on the Upper East Side and I could deal ‘em off the arm with the best of them. It’s one tough job, waitressing. You’ve got to be fast and efficient and smart and know how to prioritize. And smile while you do it, if you want to make good tips. When I started making a living as a writer, I hung up my duty shoes for good. But I still have those dreams where I’m workin’ the lunch rush and I haven’t got a clue what I’m doing, and can’t keep up. It’s almost as bad as the dreams where I’m back in college and it’s finals week and I suddenly realize I’ve got a class I’ve never bothered to attend… EEEK!

5. I was a crystal runner. Twice, I drove cross-country from LA to Arkansas and back in a Chrysler New Yorker name Hal. It was a while ago. I would go with my friend, Deborah Lou. She owned the New Yorker and had named it Hal because it was one of those talking cars. You know, “Your door is open.” And “Please fasten your seatbelt.” Sounded just like a certain computer named Hal in a very old movie, 2001, A SPACE ODYSSEY. This was back when quartz crystals were all the rage for healing and channeling energy. Deborah Lou would get them from the crystal mines in Arkansas and bring them back to LA to sell to…well, I forget exactly who she sold them to. But those trips were really fun.

And I know that Kate (Did mention Vote For Kate? Well I am now: Vote For Kate.) has put off her five things until next week. But I figure this tagging thing is viral, right? We should spread it around. So I’m tagging my fellow OK Outlaw, Blaze author Jill Monroe, because I get a real kick out of her blog, Off the Keyboard.

And I’m also tagging you. Won't you please post at least one interesting thing about you in comments? Because you are so the best!