Happy Labor Day!

Posted by Kate

Labor Day means.........

.......I get the day off! Woohoo! I work for a behemoth law firm where I’m buried in sh*t and kept in the dark, much like a mushroom. Every day, my cruel bosses force me to do things I simply don’t want to do. They keep me from my true mission of surfing the net and blogging. It’s so unfair. On the bright side, I have an extensive file of lawyer jokes so if you’ve got a good one, send it to me.

.......I’ll spend the day writing, which is what I usually do on my days off, and believe it or not, that makes me happy—unless it makes me crazy. For now, I’m happy. I’m still in the early outline stages of a new book and I’m waking up in the middle of the night thinking of fabulous snippets of dialogue and fascinating character quirks which I write down on tiny post-its, then try to make sense of them the next morning. I love this part of the process.

.......It’s Back to School time. One word: Ugh! I’ll bet some of you loved starting a new school year, right? You’d see your friends, buy lots of new fall clothes, get your school supplies in order. Not me--I was filled with dread. First of all, fall fashions? Ha! Catholic school uniforms. Boring! And oh good grief, the nuns! The thought of facing Sister Mary Cletus with her beady eyes and that 18-inch ruler she'd smack against the palm of her hand as she threatened to—flashback! Talk me down!! Whew. Thanks.

.......Autumn is in the air! I know what you’re thinking -- bitch lives at the beach in SoCal. What does she know about autumn? Go ahead, have your little laughs at my expense but I assure you, you can smell autumn at the beach. It’s subtle, I’ll give you that. But the air changes, and the light is different. I love it. And the absolute best part about autumn is Halloween. I love Halloween. Call me nutty, but I still dress up every year. Yes, some co-workers and I wear costumes every Halloween. We’re very cool, in a scary, geeky sort of way. Some of my more memorable costumes.......

.......The Invisible Secretary. I dressed in black from top to bottom and wrapped my head in gauze, then slapped on a pair of sunglasses.
.......The Dominatrix Nun. Had the whole nun outfit plus whip and fishnet stockings.
.......Barefoot and pregnant.
.......The Old Fat Hooker – I swear I’ve got pictures somewhere--and no, you won't see them. I was truly glorious in faded, stretched-out purple spandex leggings and a chartreuse tank top with black push-up bra showing through, and funky old stilettos that wobbled when I walked.
.......Twice I’ve worn pajamas but everyone agreed that was a cheap, lazy way to go. But at least I was comfortable. Maybe I should’ve told them I was dressed as a writer.

So, do you dress up for Halloween? What are you going to be this year? I need ideas!