Deadline Diaries

Five Romance writers tell all.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

I honestly love you...

Posted by Susan

I am, I confess, hopelessly addicted to office supplies. I’m not the only person who has this obsession—I think it’s a writer thing.

I love places like Office Depot and Staples. I love that my Staples reward card means I get free shipping so I can order office supplies whenever I want and then they just show up at my door. I love sticky notes (We have to call them sticky notes, now. Apparently the people at 3M are getting very fussy about keeping their trademarked for p*st-its. It’s like v*lcro, that now is “hook and loop closures.” What is up with that? Are we fooled? I think not.) Anyway…back to my passion.

I love it when the school supplies start showing up in stores. Not only will I finally have the mall to myself on my early morning shopping trips, but there’s something wonderful about all those folders and pencils and paper. There is promise in office supplies. The promise of control.

I believe that with the right boxes and binders and tabs and sticky notes, I can organize everything. And if I can organize my life, then I am in control. I am the queen of my destiny, the captain of my ship, the ruler of my universe. Oooooh, rulers. I love rulers.

I recently bought a new shredder. It’s fabulous. Seriously, it cuts the paper in two directions. It’s fast, it sounds like it really means business. Best of all, it does CDs and credit cards. I’ve already shredded an entire manuscript—the first book I ever wrote. So dreadful. No one could ever read it—seriously, it was awful. But the thought of shredding it seemed daunting. Until now. It was so much fun! I’m searching the house for other things to shred. My husband is threatening to lock his office door so I can’t get in and have my way with his files!

But as in most of life, with great joy comes great sorrow. And so it is with office supplies. I had to buy a new stapler. It’s a heavy duty one that takes heavy duty staples. It will staple up to 20 pages and is guaranteed never to jam or miss or do anything wrong in the stapler kingdom.

Sounds good, you say. Where’s the problem? Well, although my regular stapler stopped working weeks ago and had been fussy months before that, it had one fabulous thing going for it. Pink staples! Yes, bright pink. I have yet to find heavy duty staples in any color at all. Plus the new stapler seems a little too serious for my office where sticky notes rule, my dog sleeps on a bright pink dog sofa and my cat sleeps in a bed of black toile. Maybe it’s just me but the stapler seems disapproving.

Still, I will accept it and hope that in time my midnight internet surfing brings me to a place where heavy duty staples (S.F. 4 premium staples from Swingline, to be specific) comes in purple or blue or red. Because color is our friend and office supplies are just so darned cool.


At 8:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You guys are a hoot! This is my first visit and I had to read it all! I have been smiling since then...and at work too! (Shhh, don't tell!) You guys are great authors and very funny ladies; keep up the great writing.
Dorothy Adams

At 9:07 AM, Blogger Christine Rimmer said...

Dorothy, welcome! Especially bearing such high praise. Thank you. And please return often. :)

Susan, I have that heavy-duty stapler. You're so right, it staples twenty pages. And it's gray. As are the staples. *sigh*

And I so want a shredder like yours. Mine only shreds one way. According to the last P.I. who spoke at my local RWA chapter, one-way shredders are a piece of cake for anyone going through your garbage to learn all about you or maybe steal your identity.

And see...this is what happens when you're a writer. You end up learning all kinds of stuff you'd rather not know...

EEEk. I think I'm falling victim to incipient paranoia.

I suppose I'll just have to go to work now...

At 9:19 AM, Blogger Maureen Child said...

Ya know,'re not actually paranoid if they really ARE after you!! (At least that's what I tell my husband to explain some weird writerly behavior)!

Hi Dorothy!! I think we're fun, too! Glad you're here!

Susan, I too have an unhealthy love affair with office supply stores. I could wander in the Pen aisle for hours!!

But something must be done to correct the no fun staple thing. Isn't there someone we could write to? Complain? Color good. Gray bad.

At 1:28 PM, Blogger Christine Rimmer said...

Maureen, such an excellent point. I've been wondering why those burly men are out there going through my garbage can, pulling out those bags of shredder confetti. Now I get it. It's real.

Hm. Writing to the Swingline people. Yes. I like that. But someone else should do it. I have to head over to Office Depot for some neon-colored Post--oops. I mean sticky notes....

At 2:10 PM, Blogger Christie Ridgway said...

I had no idea there were pink staples and now I want them. But remember, I live in an all-guy world. I'd have to lie and call them coral or terra cotta or something, which is what I say is the color I painted my living room. Woe to the visitor who says "You painted it pink!" It's coral, dang it, a perfectly respectable and manly color.

At 4:37 PM, Blogger Emma_Sanders said...

LOL, too funny. I always just thought I was weird. My husband likes Home Depot, I like Office Depot. Good to know it's a writer's thing.

At 6:14 PM, Blogger Maureen Child said...

LOL,Christie!! You put one over on the guys!! excellent. And yes, we should all be on the lookout for coral staples.

Hi Emma! What IS it with guys and Home Depot?? My husband wanders around that place like a kid discovering Santa's Village!

At 8:25 PM, Blogger Susan Mallery said...

Our bedroom is mauve. Seriously, it's great and there's purple wallpaper in the bathroom. As far as much husband is concerned, it's taupe, with a mauve-ish tinge. He hasn't really noticed the wallpaper yet.

At 4:59 PM, Blogger Kate Carlisle said...

Hi! I've never seen pink staples but I will hunt them down and they will be mine.

At my office, I have four staplers. One is a hand stapler I inherited from my Auntie Jeannie. I love it. I have three more of various strengths, but I'm not particularly obsessed with those.

I will confess to a minor paper clip obsession, however. I have three bowls on my desk -- one holds large paper clips, one holds small ones, and the third holds small binder clips. They do not mix. And you know those colorful plastic paper clips some people like? They go inside the desk drawer. Don't ask me why. It's just where they belong.

At 4:59 PM, Blogger Kate Carlisle said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 7:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This sight is hilarious. I really enjoy you guys. I have been office supply obsessed for most of my life. My husband gets really scared everytime I say I want to go to Staples or Office Depot. He has a lot to fear. I become a person with no limits. I will buy anything that "organizes"....Anything!!

Erin Stern

At 2:43 PM, Blogger Maureen Child said...

Erin.....I'm so there with you!!

And like Kate, I do have a thing with paper clips. The brightly colored ones, of course. I do also have some plain old tiny silver ones, but they're so ordinary. The binder clips belong in the drawer, Kate...they're just so utilitarian.

Oh, and did I mention the rubber band problem I have???

At 2:53 PM, Blogger Susan Mallery said...

I divide my paperclips by size, but my are all brass. At least I think it's brass. They're gold. Then I get stuff in the mail with the silver paperclips, which are all lumped together in a small part of my desk drawer organizer with other stuff that doesn't really matter!!


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